i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
