i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
