Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
babies were throwing up all over the place
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
