Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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