VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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