Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
