Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Girls should come with a carfax report
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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