they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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