New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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