i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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