I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
