the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
