quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
accomplished twins. life is a go
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
