Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
