JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
