i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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