I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
me + whiskey = a bad person
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
