Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
