so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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