How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
