If i could tip my vagina, i would.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm always down for nudity.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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