Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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