Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
