Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Operation Purity has been aborted
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Who died my cat blue again?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
