sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
