i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my being single is dangerous.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
