everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
