Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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