i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
As shirtless as possible
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
