Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
