She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
