I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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