she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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