I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Help. Why am I so naked?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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