I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need to sanitize my soul.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
