Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
