no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
