My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
