Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
