I'm pants shitting drunk right now
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
