i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
