Got a toothbrush?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
