I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
