Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
