I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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