Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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