So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
