Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
we should paint friendship bongs
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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