I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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