I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
