I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My penis needs a shock collar
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
