bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
