Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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