Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
