Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
