My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so let's talk penis.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Enjoy the penises
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
