For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I would fuck him just for his dog
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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