That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
