you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
