at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
