highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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