You're completely useless in the revolution.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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