he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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