He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's blow job season.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize