She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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