i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
